He is a narcissist
I am a great fan of your column. I am a 19-year-old girl. I am a student of A-Levels in one of the prestigious schools of Karachi. I come from a well-to-do family. I am a smart girl and am quite popular in my school. Girls envy me as my steady boyfriend – K - happens to be a known model. He saw me in one of the fashion shows, some two years back, and offered me to be his friend and I gladly accepted his offer. Now, people see us as a couple. Guru, my problem is that K is totally obsessed with himself. He loves me in his own way, but he is not really caring. Though he says he loves me, his arrogance sometimes makes me doubtful about his love for me. Like he says he can get any girl whenever he wants. He is too conceited when it comes to girls, as he is quite a charmer. Guru, in the beginning I was very happy to be the girlfriend of a famous model but now I am having second thoughts as I don’t think this relationship is going anywhere. I am sick and tired of his vanity. What should I do?
Bubbly in Love
Dear Bubbly in Love,
Normally, models are proud people. Since they are aware of their good looks and popularity, narcissism set in easily in them. I am not saying that all models are like that. Some are very humble and grounded, too, and some are very shallow. Your boyfriend falls into the latter category. I don’t blame you for being trapped by his charms as normally girls go after looks and fame at this age. But now that you are getting to know him as a person, you have come to know about his shortcomings as a person. People like K can only love themselves. In long term relationships, looks take a backseat and what matters is the person’s nature and calibre. A caring but not-so-good-looking person can be a better companion than a gorgeous but conceited one. My advice is to end this relationship; and, in any case, it’s just puppy love. However, in the end, the choice is yours – whether you want a showpiece (that you can flaunt in front of others) or you want a real person in your life. Good luck!
My sister is threatening me
I am a 24-year-old graduate girl. I belong to a middle-class family. I have been working in an architects’ firm as a secretary for the last three years. I get good salary and am quite happy with my job. Guru, I really like one of my colleagues, B, who has recently joined this firm as a junior architect. He he has a promising future. He is very friendly and treats me with respect. Of late, I have started dating him. My younger sister, Z, knows about our friendship, but Z happens to be a conniving girl. She does not want me to get married to B. She has met B a few times and despite knowing that B is interested in me, she wants B to marry her. Guru, I can’t believe she is my real sister. Why does she want to snatch B from me? Z has threatened to disclose my clandestine affair to our parents. Guru, I am so upset. I don’t want to lose my parents’ trust. I am so scared. What should I do?
Dear Sacred Girl,
It is obvious that your sister is jealous of you. B is young and has a bright future, too, so he is a good catch for any girl. You need to realise that not all sisters are alike. Some sisters are very caring and loving while some happen to be mean and selfish. Z wants to grab every good opportunity and does not care about your feelings. But since B really likes you, I don’t think he is inclined towards her. So, don’t worry about that. As far as your parents are concerned, I think you should take them in confidence and tell them about B before Z spills the beans and pollute their minds. You are a mature person and as an older sister you should deal with Z firmly and warn her not to interfere in your life. On the other hand, tell B to send his proposal so that your parents can meet him and his family. I am sure things will work out in your favour. Good luck!
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