My problem is stammering
I am a 21-year-old boy currently doing an accountancy degree. I belong to a well-to-do family. My problem is stuttering. I have been stammering since I was a little child. I have been a laughing stock all my life - whether it be my brothers, cousins, colleagues, friends, etc. Even kids make fun of me. I don’t take calls, and sometimes people consider me rude as I don’t talk much. If there is an absolute need to talk, I talk in a very low voice. I am a high achiever in academics but when it comes to communication, I get anxiety and fail miserably. Guru, this is something I don’t have any control over. I feel very ashamed and am losing my confidence. My parents are very supportive of me. They even encouraged me to take speech therapy classes. I attended few sessions and then I left it as the therapy was way too expensive. Secondly, it wasn’t working in my favour. I could have continued the therapy but I don’t want to be a burden on my parents for a thing that is not being effective. What can I do about this? Please help.
Dear Quiet Boy,
Sometimes people are born with certain issues but it does not mean they should be embarrassed. Nobody is perfect in this world. In fact, you must thank God for His blessings. You are a normal person with good health and sound mind. Look around and you will find handicapped and mentally challenged kids. Your only problem is stuttering and this is not something that you should be ashamed of. You should not have left the speech therapy in the middle. The point is you need to be consistent in your efforts to improve your speech. It all comes down to how confident you are in keeping your insecurities aside and face the world boldly. Those who are making fun of you today will be bound to respect you tomorrow when you achieve a distinguished position in your professional life.
When it comes to ending your stutter, it’s important to keep in mind that there is no magic pill you can take. Fortunately, there are tips that can help. It is important to free your mind from inner tension. When you are calm from inside, there are fewer chances of you to stammer. In order to improve your speech skills, it’s a good idea to record your own voice. Your smartphone is the perfect device for this practice, and you can record yourself at any time of the day, for a few seconds or a few minutes. Then play it back and listen to what you hear. You can also go to different speech therapy websites (where you don't need to pay) that guide you in order to improve your communication skills. And try to interact with people socially. I know it’s hard for you but that’s the best way to become more comfortable with yourself. Last but not least, focus on your studies; you are no less than anyone when it comes to smart minds. Good luck!
She is so strange
I am a regular reader of your column. I have been quite confused over a girl for some time. I met her at a wedding a few months ago. We got familiar with each other and after the wedding we often used to chat via text messages. However, after chatting for few weeks she stopped replying to me. Now, whenever we meet in a gathering, she greets me happily and is nice with me, but when I try to connect with her, she does not respond. Her strange behaviour is beyond my comprehension. If she likes me then why doesn’t she reply to my texts? And if she does not like me then why is she so friendly in front of every one? It seems that she wants to tease me. How can I handle this situation?
Dear Confused Boy,
It is quite clear that the girl is simply not interested in you. Actually, the girl is only playing with your feelings. She knows that you like her and she is taking advantage of your weakness. Don’t give her the liberty to treat you like dirt. Always remember that self-respect comes first. Stop messaging her. Don’t act like a puppet. Next time when you see her in any gathering, just avoid talking to her. Your cold behaviour towards her will definitely hurt her ego and she will refrain from teasing you in future. Good luck!
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