US

COMIC RELIEF

US
By US Desk
Fri, 01, 21

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation....

Russians are brilliant

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell.

An Austrian, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don’t belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: “I’ll strike you three times with my whip, and if you survive, I’ll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield.”

The Austrian goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the Austrian is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once - nothing; twice - the Indian shivers a bit; thrice - the Indian grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he’s free to go. The Indian asks, “May I stay and watch? In all jokes the Russians somehow come out on top. I wanna see how he will do it this time.” The Devil nods and turns to the Russian: “So, what will you use as a shield?”

The Russian: “The Indian, of course.”

You know

you need more exercise when....

1. You bump into things you never did before.

2. Your bed seems smaller.

3. You notice they just don’t make towels as big as they used to.

4. You are wearing wide shoes and they are bigger than you normally wear.

5. Chairs make noises when you sit in them.

6. You can’t enlarge the seat belt any more.

7. You realize the rolls on your arms aren’t muscles.

8. You go up steps and the house shakes.

9. You can’t cross your legs anymore.

10. You can’t bend over and pick something up.